"Marry the single people from among you and the righteous slaves and slave-girls. If you are poor, Allah (SwT) will make you rich through His favor; and Allah (SwT) is Bountiful, All-Knowing." (Surah AL-Noor, Verse 32).In this verse, Allah (SwT) commands us to marry the single, righteous man/woman from among us. Allah (SwT) even gives us a guarantee that if we are poor or lack the proper funds, still we should not delay the marriage as Allah will take care of the couple and grant them bounties from His Grace and Mercy.
Another Verse in the same context :"And let those who cannot find someone to marry maintain chastity until Allah (SwT) makes them rich through His favors..."(Surah Al-Noor, Verse 33)In the continuation of Surah 24, in the above-quoted verse, Allah (SwT) commands the believers to remain chaste and faithful if they cannot find a suitable spouse to marry until Allah (SwT) grants them bounties out of His favors. Thus, one must not resort to evil, sin or illicit sexual relationships because they cannot find a permanent spouse.
Now just give a look at present weddings. Often we write about something for one of two things: either we are extremely passionate about the subject or when we strongly oppose an issue. I’m writing for the latter. It would not wrong to say that Wedding Season is the Fifth season in Pakistan. Somehow we made this religious obligation difficult and complicated by following useless social traditions and Custom.In our part of the world, marriage is an occasion where families spend outrageously on the wedding ceremonies, dowry, giveaways and what not. And the most appalling fact is that all classes of the society are guilty of this madness. The elite class shows how wealthy they are by lavishly spending on such occasions. And people from middle and lower class either go bankrupt or plunge into financial debts.
Among Muslims, The Important part of this Religious obligation is "Nikkah". But people have adopted so many false and baseless traditions and make them necessary before "Nikkah" . These concepts are converting this religious thing into a social act.
"There is no blame upon you whether you hint at a marriage proposal to such women or keep the proposal hidden in your hearts. Allah knows that you will think of them in that connection. But do not make any secret engagement with them and speak openly in an honorable manner. Do not resolve on the marriage tie until the ordained term has come to its end. Know well that Allah knows even what is in your hearts. So, have fear of Him and know well that Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Forbearing." (Surah Baqra: Verse#235 )After proposing someone Islam totally allows them to see each other before marriage.In this context I would like to narrate Hadiths: Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrates: I was in the company of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) when a man came and informed him that he had contracted to marry a woman of the Ansar. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said to him: “Did you cast a glance at her? He said: No. He said: “Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar”. (Sahih Muslim, no. 1423).
Sayyiduna Mughira ibn Shu’bah (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that he proposed to a woman for marriage. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said to him: “Look at her, for it may produce love between you.” (Sunan Tirmidhi, no. 1087, Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Nasa’i & Sunan Ibn Majah).This permission becomes a convention nowadays.In this custom, the Girl and the boy wear expensive outfits. There is an exchange of costly Rings between both of them. The families of both sides have to arrange a proper hall for this function which is totally a waste. There is also an exchange of costly gifts between both families. Everyone tries to show off and give their best to win this useless battle. People don't even think about each other's class, sometimes they followed the traditions even if they can't afford them.
We are not only following the Indians traditions but also adopting western culture. These are one of their inheritance, As nowadays girls arrange a party for Bridal to be, bachelor friends of Bridal visits her and spends time together it also includes cake cutting, music, dance, and games.Likewise, Groom friends take their friend on a short trip. They celebrate last hours of groom's freedom and cherish old memories. There is a special arrangement of music and dance where all bachelors enjoy their time without any older company.
Alkane which is normally known in Asia as Mehandi or Henna is liked by Islam. But especially organizing a function on Mehndi name and relate Bridal happy married life with Henna is totally a false and indian's disbelief. On this occasion, our people arrange a great Feast, where not only henna applied on Bride and groom but also a great hustle bustle on the name of dance and music. This programme stays for the whole night. This Rasam is nothing but just an extra burden on families and they are bound to social norms and unable to avoid these.
It is an important part of our weddings. On this day Girl's family have to arrange an extraordinary lunch for baratis. They also consider this delicious lunch as a guarantee of their daughter's happiness. They arrange this even if they are unable to afford a luxury banquet. Girl's side borrows money to fulfill these traditions according to society's way.
"... and besides these, it is lawful for you to marry other women if you pay them their dowry, maintain chastity and do not commit indecency. So those (women) whom you marry for an appointed time, you must give them their agreed upon dowries. There is no harm if you reach an understanding among yourselves about the dowry, Allah (SWT) is All-Knowing and All-Wise." (Surah An-Nisa, Verse 24).According to Islam Dowry is that things of need which a father gives to his daughter as important needs of her life.But Unfortunately, parents started giving each and everything to their daughter. It would not wrong to say that they give "needle to house" all necessary things of every day. They try to give her all things which are enough for rest of her life. Sometimes girl's in-laws demand. We are used to these demand as “Such demands do not surprise us anymore,”.All of above mention customs are the only headache of girl family. After this situation, if girls parents think a Girl burden, they are not that wrong to think this so.
This is Sunnah to give lunch to all your relatives and friends next day of Nikkah. This custom is nowadays known as Walima or Reception. It was simple in old days but now it's also a complete hit to budget and savings. People invited their friends and family to dinner and book halls for this too. They usually forget to invite poor and needy.Whom are truly deserving some food. Again a show of costly clothes and expensive gifts has started and so on.
This feast is arranged for girl's in-laws who come to take her from her first visit to her parents after marriage. On this day people try to fulfill all those traditions which they can't perform during a wedding. Like juta chupai (Hiding groom shoes), Rasta rokai (Blocking groom way ) etc.Finally, Wedding comes to an end. Sometimes it does not bring happiness but more mentally and financially burden.
Due to countless wedding traditions, many of girls are left unmarried. Noone can understand the sorrow of their parents, They are helpless. So-called traditions, customs, and man-made conventions have tied them both hands. People need to understand that inner happiness could never buy from these traditions. It could not get from materials things. People need to make things easy and simple. They can perform all obligations by staying within Islam limits. Just don't Bother what people would say. Let them say whatever they want to. Follow the teaching of Islam or Your manage things within your pocket.